Monday, March 2, 2009

“Why are you adopting?”

This is a common question for us. We were told when we first started this process we should be ready with an answer, one that was positive towards our adopted child. My answer is usually, “That’s just what God called us to do.” Seems pretty vague, but it’s true.

But how do we know that? Josh and I both clearly felt God’s voice on this.

We were recently looking at high school pictures of us, and Josh asked if I ever would have thought back then that we would be adopting our third child from Ethiopia, and I said its more than I could have hoped. I always thought adoption was so special, but I thought it was something other people did, people with more resources, more faith, more…something. This thinking prevents many parents from pursuing adoption, but believe me, if we can do it, so can you!

November is National Adoption Month, and in Nov 2007 our local Christian radio station aired many programs about adoption. Focus in the Family and Family Life Today talked about it, and Money Matters even talked about affording it and the fact that most adopting families are average, middle class people. Shoahannah’s Hope, a foundation founded by singer Steven Curtis Chapman, aired many 30 second and 1 minute bits about adoption. We listen to the radio a lot (no tv remember), but that month we couldn’t turn it on without hearing something about adoption. Mid-month we started talking about it.

At first it was “Wow those are neat stories”.

Then it was “Wouldn’t that be awesome to be a part of?”

Next came, “What if we did that?”

Which was soon, “Could we do that?”

I will never forget the afternoon I was washing dishes with the radio on and Josh was listening in his truck on the way home. We both heard Money Matters, and I think it eased the unknown about affording adoption (Josh had just changed jobs and took a pay decrease). My heart was ready, but my mind wasn’t sure until Josh came in the door, looked at me, heard the radio was on, and said Let’s do it.”

Sometimes I wonder if all those programs were really on, or if they were just for our ears. And certainly God had us turning the radio on at the right times. November 2008 I was looking forward to hearing all those adoption programs again, but there were much fewer, and none of the smaller bits….hmmmm.

After we committed to pursuing adoption I spent many late nights on the Internet researching agencies and countries. We had friends over, Danny and Ashley Graber, to share with us their experience in two Guatemala adoptions.

We ruled out domestic adoption and Guatemala due to closures, and we also ruled out Africa. I will not lie; we did not want to adopt a black child. This had nothing to do with our own prejudice, but we thought bringing a black child to white southern Indiana would be tough on the child (and it may be). However, God continued to work on our hearts, and our concern became more for orphans than comfort. By the way, we now look at Eli’s beautiful skin color as an opportunity to share God’s plan of adoption.

In January 2008 we went to an info seminar in Indy at Bethany Christian Services. After that meeting, we knew our child would be born in Ethiopia, a beautiful place facing so much tragedy. We applied to the Ethiopia program very soon and were accepted the same week that I discovered All God’s Children through blog land. We switched agencies because AGCI had a quicker timeline and their own orphanage, plus the testimonies of the families we read, not to mention God know where Eli would be.

One Bible verse that God led us to claim throughout this adoption was 2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I wanted to write all this for two reasons (and if anyone read it all, thanks!):

- to remember the path God took us on to Eli. He is not another number in the Ethiopian orphan crisis; he is an important and beautiful member of our family. We are his mom and dad. Please don’t ask if we love him like our “real children”, he is our real child.
- To encourage you to follow what God is calling you to do. He’ll talk to you, just listen. Knowing you are doing His will leads to peace in your heart.

5 comments:

Troy said...

Love it. I love hearing the adoption stories and to see the path God has families on ... absolutely amazing ... we just met one of your traveling families this weekend and their story was inspiring as well.

Also ... southern Indiana? My wife is from there ... she grew up next to Holiday World :)

Have a blessed trip and if you think you'd have time to love on our boy, feel free to email me at luchttd AT yahoo DOT com. Thanks!

Kelly K. said...

Kristi...thanks so much for sharing how God called you and your husband to adopt. Adoption is truly a miracle from God!!! We are thanking God for bringing our daughter home to us...last night my 9 year old said, "Mom, you know since B's been home I haven't fighting much with D and C." It's true...bringing B into our home has given all of us alot more to think about and focus on than ourselves:) I'm praying for you as you travel to Ethiopia to get Eli...you're going to love the people there..esp. at HH! Love, Kelly

Guatmama said...

Kristi,

Am I ever glad that adoption has brought us even closer. We cannot wait to support you as Eli makes his journey home. And don't you think our area could use a little flava'? We are proud to be your friends, and in some way helped support your call to adopt. I have the perfect backpack and a hand me down you must have..I'll call you before you leave!

Lauren said...

This is a beautifully eloquent way of describing your journey.


I love you guys!

Tamara B said...

I randomly checked your blog because of your most recent post title on someone else's sidebar. I'm so thankful that I continued to read through your posts to this point. I felt like I was reading my own words.

We are just beginning the process but we've been thinking and praying through the process for a few years. We too have children and want to adopt out of obedience and caring for orphans. We too were very concerned about bringing a very dark skinned child into a very white and rural Iowa community. At this point, we're slowly pursuing adopting from Ghana even though I selfishly wanted to adopt from Ethiopia because we have a missionary friend here.

Can't wait to here about your trip when you get home. Know that some random person you've never met in Northeast Iowa is praying for you guys this week!